In Between the Old, for Now

I haven’t written on this blog since April…and we are already heading into September. Basically the last year has been one for the books, one mountain to climb after the next, and it has been incredibly difficult to feel like doing much of anything, especially writing.

As you know we were forced to sell our dream home, and then we were backed into another corner due to a bad housing market and had no other option but to buy one of those “production homes.” Which if you are an old house lover as I have always been, that’s basically the complete extreme of each other. I was incredibly depressed by the whole experience. You are technically building a house, but really have almost no control over anything. You pick a package which is based on price and you have to go with whatever is in that package. So I didn’t get to pick lighting, countertops, cabinets, flooring, paint, tile, etc…it was whatever came with our package. Which left me feeling zero connection to the home. 

Andrew handled it all much better than me because after years of commuting long hours to work, the house location was really close to his job. That part I was happy about for him, and it also meant he’d be home more often because he wouldn’t be on the road, which of course Wallis and I both love.

We had to move in with my parents for what we thought would only be 3 months, but it turned into 5 months and truly was a bad experience. My mom tried, but my dad was incredibly difficult and made the experience as polarizing as he possibly could.

Clearly our desperate situation wasn’t a concern to him, and I wish now that I had really seen that for what it was and worked something else out, but I was so emotional about having to sell our farmhouse and desperately ill from my pregnancy that I pushed ahead. I was also very concerned about Wallis having a good transition…but he did not want us there, and he made that very clear daily.

It is what it is, and you know what, I have accepted it more than I ever did in the past…so you could say this experience healed that side of me that was desperate for a different kind of dad. Now I try to enjoy the parts of him that are reasonable, and accept the parts that are not. You can not change a person, no matter your role in their life and no matter how much it hurts.

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant at this point and my pregnancy has been miserable! That’s something else I can’t believe we’re making it through, two moves in 5 months, living with my parents and now 6 weeks until a newborn joins our family…phew! All while being so ill…like I said, one mountain after the next, but we are officially in our home now and I am starting to feel better and the dust is starting to settle.

Once Andrew and I officially owned the house, we got to work changing quite a bit of the interior. We pulled up all the carpet and donated it. Had gorgeous hardwood floors put in, wallpapered and started painting the colors we like. We did some kitchen upgrades too, and have some more plans, but are doing it as we can…but it has already made such a difference to this cookie cutter house!

I have attached the BEFORE and IN PROGRESS pics of Wallis’ room. She loves it so much, and tells me every day how “amazing” it is and if I add anything to it, she exclaims, “Oh mama you’ve made it even more bootiful!” She is my biggest fan, and I tell you, it makes my heart sing. Seeing her happiness in this new house is like medicine for my soul. All I want is to see Wallis thrive, and all I worry about is making sure that happens…and boy, is she having a good time!

I promise to start taking more pictures of Wallis soon, and her new baby sister! We’ll be pretty crazed up until the birth, so I can’t promise new pics before then, but I am not done with this blog yet…I look at this time as our in between time, before we find our next our old home to love.